I feel like I wish I could stay away forever inside this tent.
When I see myself and the man, I feel that something just doesn’t match. At all,
when I look any goal of my life and look at myself, I feel that something just doesn’t
match. Maybe it’s because of the disgusting weather of the town I live. Maybe it’s
because the loss of faith in myself or the loss of vitamins, health. This maybe have caused the fact that I’m thrown in the bed for two weeks out of the gymn,
having just going to the track training once in a week. Maybe I feel a secret
wish of put the blame on my knee pain and just give up. Give up also the man as
I did again last Friday. I've refused
a romantic date saying that I was with teeth
ache. I was, but this ache didn’t stop me to spend the friday night in a degrading
journey. I don’t want to talk about the addiction. When you’re getting’ older,
you start to lose the exposition necessity. I dirt with shit my elastic of tie my hair and had to throw it away.
I feel like I don’t need to combat the bad smell of my room. Not even
the dark desire of staying in it sleeping for all the weekend. Sometimes I wake
a little bit. Sometimes I look at the homer’s odyssey and I feel I’ll never
surpass its introduction. Looking also my guitar which I’m promising a long
time to go back to music classes, looking at the hole on my kitten’s tail which I should already hade taken her to vet, I don’t
feel that I don’t know how to control my money. Now I know that I just don’t have
money.
I know, I know I’ve escaped from bad things. Now I have two healthy feet
which can provide me walk, run, jump and even go to gymn at weekends but. Guess it’s
nice to stay in the bed. Just like I hit the base camp to scale Everest mountain but now
I don’t feel any tease to get the top.
XOXO
